Do you remember the time when you were ready to mold yourself in every form for someone who meant a lot to you?

Hey you, do you remember the time when you were ready to mold yourself in every form for someone who meant a lot to you? when was the last time you actually suffocated your skin, personality, weight, happiness, choices and lifestyle and make it look effortless just for the sake of seeking somebody's attention, love or care? Did it hurt when all it ended to you losing a piece of you just so you could allow that person in and give them a comforting and warm place in your life, heart, mind, soul or just in the circle of people who you really like to be with? Well sadly I'm with you when you took a deep sigh after every question as it brought a flashback of all the pieces of you that you had to gather and put them just as they were but unfortunately it hurt to see those cracks within yourself. The point is if there was/is/will be a connection then it should not require you to be a pretending version of someone you're not. I want you to know that the things which make you happy should no way be compromised AND NOWAY A COMPETITIVE RELATION OR FRIENDSHIP WOULD FORCE YOU TO CHANGE THE PARTS THAT ACTUALLY FORM YOU.

You matter and your choices matter so next time if you get this ultimatum to either choose you or them SEE THE RED FLAGS.

once I saw a quotation somewhere that "only a pillow knows the amount of emotions we hide from the world ".

once I saw a quotation somewhere that "only a pillow knows the amount of emotions we hide from the world ". It was quite funny for me but things which are a material of joke for us the same are real life stories for someone.

Alina just like her name she was a common girl who always wished to be special maybe not like other girls.She was never interested in any styling material she just wanted to be simple but there are some rules of the world and one of such is that to gain popularity , respect ,and fame we have to mould ourselves into the shape the world wants. Alina could ignore the world , the thoughts of world but what if her family wants the same. Her mother always taunted her due to her black skin , less attractive features and this started decreasing Alina's self confidence . She even wasn't left with this much confidence that she could see herself in the mirror.She started thinking that she is less than others,she is a neglected girl etc etc.Even while walking she always used to stood by back so that noone could recognise her failures she had in herself.After sometime her mother started taunting her into new direction.She started scolding her for not having self confidence though she was the first who never appreciated her daughter for what she was.During days she uses to hold her tears in her eyes and during nights she used to hold her voice so that noone could recognise that she was crying.Noone was her friend everyone hate her.Even in school noone wanted to make Alina involve in their group activities they thought if they do so they will loose.This rejection opened the door of depression for Alina.Her childhood was disaster and her period of teenage was a bad dream that she remembered till the last.As she was now a teenager girl her mother was worried that who will marry her how will she able to spend her life alone in this crucial world with no cleverness and no self confidence  this started effecting Alina's mental health she was already suffering from depression from her childhood now she was diagnosed with brain tumor.Yes! you heard right she was not left with much time to survive.She didn't told anyone about her disease.Days went by her condition became from bad to worst.Even her family members started doubting that something was fishy but maybe that was too late.That night when Alina fainted in the arms of her mother she was rushed to hospital where everyone was shocked to hear that Alina was no more.She finally left this crucial world.Everyone was sad after all they lost their Alina who was special b/c she was not like other girls.A/f Alina's dismiss a diary was found frm her bag where everything was written including the dangerous period she spend in this world and the time when she needed her mother and her family more she was left alone.This thing started killing Alina's mother frm inside she was guilty for what she did with her daughter.She was admitted to mental asylum b/c she had lost her mentality.The family was totally depressed b/c they not only lost Alina but also her mother.

Some stories never have a happy ending but they leave a impactful lesson. We all are Alina in our own story, we all always complain God for many things,we always think ourselves less than others, there is where we loose everything.

 Remember one thing always:"NO ONE IS YOU AND THAT'S YOUR SUPERPOWER".

The feeling of numbness, It's like everything is turned into black and white,

The feeling of numbness,

It's like everything is

turned into black and white,

An upredictable presence,

Lost in a valley of unfiltered thoughts,

Is it just a bubble of melonchaly

Or is it an ocean 

of an endless misery ?

Lost.

In the misty memories,

Like a hair or feather fades

In a cloudy mixture.

The catastrophe of Instincts.

An unbalanced existance,

Stuck between the reality and fantasy.

Faking every moment,

Seizing every emotion,

Is it the battle of dissembling

the literal feelings ?

Or is it the only way 

to live this monotonous life.

That was a dark night filled with the roars of the sky above

That was a dark night filled with the roars of the sky above. The bone chilling sounds of the thunderstorms were becoming more and more audible cuz of the particular silence of the night. The sound of the water drops hitting the window of her room and the specific petrichor that was going straight thorugh her nostrils and finally penetrating into her bones and veins forced her eyes to get opened wide. She rubbed her eyes, wore her slippers and ran towards the window of her room. She then moved the curtains away from the window that had become quite wet cuz of the heavy downpour. She, with a bright smile on her face, closed her eyes and inhaled the air to bless her lungs with the freshness of that night. She laughed at the fact that she was the only mental who could destroy her sleep during midnight just to see the rain outside her window. Ahhh.. the Pulviophile things! Suddenly the smile on her face turned into terror cuz of the frequent lightening and thuderstorms. That fear was not cuz of herself, that was cuz of the creatures outside her window. She started thinking about the last leaf striving not to get separated from its roots, the flowers getting parted from their parent flower pots and thrown away in the foreign lands, the dogs and cats running to find shelter, the birds...she remembered something from her school days... "Birds build their nests during spring to avoid unfavourable weather conditions" (The usual childhood cramming when we used to repeat the same sentence 100 times)...How smart. Isn't it? She then remembered something else that converted the expressions of admiration on her face to  realization.

 پرندے شجر کو سوکھتا دیکھ کر کہیں اور"

   آشیانہ بنا لیتے ہیں"

 (probably one of the lines her urdu teacher used to make her write in 'Ashaar ki tashreeh').

How innocent we were in our childood. Isn't it? Just cramming the things without realizing the depth of the meaning behind them. In the rememberance of her childhood, a sudden thought had blown her mind. She started naming the seasons one by one, Summer, Spring, Autumn, Winter. The four seasons. All these seasons belong to whom? She then started looking at the different branches of different trees, that were glittering cuz of mixed effect of rain and lightening, from her window. The same question arose in her mind. All these branches belong to whom? The answer was more vivid than anything in this whole world. All these things belong to the most Poweful, the Creator of this world and the world hereafter. "ALLAH". Just like birds we human beings change, our priorities change with the advancement of time, we are inclined towards the conditions more suitable for us. That's all natural. But wherever we go, the one who will always be with us is the Almighty. 

"ہر شجر، ہر موسم، سب حلات و واقعات، سب انسان ۔۔ ہر شے اللہ کی ہی ہے"۔ 

He is the only CONSTANT..! 

She covered the windows with the curtains and got back to her bed. She had learnt something new by the rainfall that night. That's why she had always loved the rain.

You are lucky enough when you find people making you happy unconditionally.

You are lucky enough when you find people making you happy unconditionally.

 Because in today's era, no one is that much sincere who can hold our pain for a moment when we need. Never lose those gems, they are your asset for happiness. We are going through a period where we think that our pain is bigger than everyone else.

 However, reality is beyond that. Some people share their worries and some just pretend to be happy and solve their problems at their own pace and will. When we genuinely see other people's pain, we will come to know that our pain is not that much bigger than others. We just need to see our blessings, we can't deny countless blessings just because of a tiny worry. That worry might not exist in reality, if we see it consciously. The ultimate purpose of our life is to make others happy regardless of any expectations. In fact, money cannot buy happiness, however, just to hold someone's pain is more precious than money. We human beings are living in the garden of emotions where we experience fragrance of happiness and also we face the attack by unwanted emotions. Thus, if we take care of others' pain and emotions, it will help us in planting the beautiful and aromatic feelings in our garden of emotions.

I always forget about routes because i never focus on them i guess

راستوں کی خبر نہیں؟ 

تو کیا دیکھتے ہیں بار بار؟

I always forget about routes because i never focus on them i guess. I focus noticing every single detail coming to my route, whether that is a vendor or a kid playing in a park, coming to my route, or a person purchasing flowers from a flower shop except the route itself because i try to figure out hidden stories from every smiling face. Sometimes, some faces get my so much attention that i feel captivated and keep staring them like i know them from so long. I know it's weird but some faces give you glimpse of someone else and a whole story starts repeating itself in your mind. It feels like that face clicked our episodic memory saved in the mid brain. 

Sometimes i try to find people who've lost in the fast race of this life and sometimes those people whom I've lost years before but want to meet them again at least once in my life. 

Whenever i see a pretty face, i admire that face and just tell the person that how pretty that person is because i don't know either I'll see that face again or not.

May be one day, this habit will help me to meet the person I'm trying to find from ages🥀

آپ حالات سے خوش ہوں یا نہ ہوں آپ کو مصنوعی خوشی کا اظہار کرنا آنا چاہیے

آپ حالات سے خوش ہوں یا نہ ہوں آپ کو مصنوعی خوشی کا اظہار کرنا آنا چاہیے۔۔حالات و واقعات سے چاہے کتنی ہی بار آپ مات کیوں نہ کھا لیں مگر آپ کے چہرے پر مسکراہٹ لازمی احاطہ کیے رکھے چاہے وہ مسکراہٹ جھوٹی ہی کیوں نہ ہو۔مسکرانے کا ہنر سیکھیے۔آپ کی زندگی میں زیادہ تر مشکلات آپ کے ارد گرد موجود لوگوں کی پیدا کی ہوئی ہوتی ہیں۔ایسے لوگوں کے سامنے حالات کا رونا رونے کی بجاۓ ان کے ساتھ بیٹھ کر کھل کر ہنسیں،قہقہے لگائیں تاکہ وہ آپ کو مات دینے کی کوشش میں خود اپنی ہار محسوس کرنے لگیں۔رونے دھونے سے کچھ نہیں ہوگا۔مسکرانا سیکھیے۔۔پریٹینڈ کرنا سیکھئے۔۔۔

I was a mere book-on which you wrote what you wanted to

I was a mere book-on which you wrote what you wanted to. Drew imaginations and pictures your mind painted. And when you filled all the pages, with yourself, your heart and your mind, it was time to entitle the very first page. For which you chose 'anjan'. 

This book you never owned shall remain in it's place where you left. Or may be taken away by wind somewhere else in someone else's hands. But its pages filled with paintings, and scribbles, and drawings, and sketches-shall always be yours. I fear say the future of this book haunts me. The book written by someone else, read by some other, and thrown in winds of time as if it were mere pages and not a heart, a human heart.

Sometimes, when you're lonesome, you feel like meeting other people

Sometimes, when you're lonesome, you feel like meeting other people. But those are a lot harder to find than it seems because a person is not a person just because you've met. They are a shapEykne of one, an outline, a potential for something that could be. Only through prolonged interaction, a conversation that slowly dissipates the fog surrounding their form, does an actual person reveal itself. And then, who knows if they would even want your company.

We leave the world a more beautiful,

We leave the world a more beautiful, a more colorful and a more loving place when we sow kindness generously and freely.

Because every act of kindness plants a seed. 🌱